3 kids served zucchini. 3 kids told that if they eat it we can go for ice cream. 1 kid ate zucchini. Solve the argument: Am I allowed to just take the zucchini eater and leave the others home?
Let me put this in perspective (because I'm obviously a zucchini expert as I proved here). I cut the zucchini in slices and cut those in half. I gave each child three measly pieces of vegetable. So I'm talkin' 1 1/2 whole rings of zucchini. Is that a lot to ask? Let me answer that: NO!
My intelligent child finally shoved all three pieces in his mouth at one time, chewed them up and swallowed them as if I had fed him excrement. Hey, I didn't say anyone had to like them. Just eat them.
And at the opposite side of the table, my two dumb children pitched a fit and cried after they were given numerous opportunities to suck it up and eat the damn zucchini, thus ruining their father's birthday dinner.
Then, just like Claire Huxtable my parenting role model would do, I took my plight to Facebook.
I got 30 replies which is no surprise because my blog readers obviously feel bad for me because I'm completely inept when it comes to raising my children. To paraphrase, most of them said "Heck yeah, Ali. You're such a wise mother. You should totally take your good child to get ice cream while those ungrateful little heathens sit at home dying of starvation." Paraphrasing. But yes, most people said it's a good lesson. My favorite reply was this one:
Brilliance - plain and simple. That "Like"? Totally from me.
There was a great deal of ceremony in preparing Ryan for the trip. "OK, Ryan. Since you were the ONLY kid to eat his zucchini, YOU are going to get yummy, yummy ice cream." An uproar of epic proportions ensued. Two children turned red and there might have been a flying fork.
But then...as he likes to do because he's a monster...JakeRyan reminded me that it was in fact HIS birthday and he wasn't going to be left at home with crying children on his birthday. Shit. Natalie shoved her zucchini in her mouth and got in the minivan. Notice I didn't say she actually chewed it. I'm sure she spit it out when we got in the parking lot. And here's the iPhone evidence of how the night went.
I hate birthdays.