Monday, February 11, 2013

Don't Mess with the Tooth Fairy

This is the letter I'd like to have the courage to give to the mother of the girl who shares our bus stop each morning.

Dear Kay's Mother,

Today while waiting for the bus, your 4th grade daughter Kay shared her opinions on the Tooth Fairy with my kindergartener and her older brother.

Kay was playing on her cell phone when Natalie proudly showed her the spot where her tooth used to be. Coincidentally, Kay also lost a tooth last night. When Natalie asked where it was (meaning where is the hole in her mouth), Kay, nonchalantly said it was on the bathroom counter because "everybody knows that the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist."

My heart sank. We have a good thing going here and I plan to hang onto the fun as long as I can. The Tooth Fairy (and all her magical friends) are childhood institutions and your kid almost blew it for mine.

My guess (based on other experiences with her) is that she didn't know any better. This is where YOU come in. 

Natalie looks up to Kay. Your daughter didn't even look up from her phone. There wasn't even the slightest indication from her that what she had just said so smugly and indiscriminately might have been a problem - in which case I would have sympathized. I've been known to have verbal diarrhea myself on numerous occasions. She didn't even flinch. Just so you know, since she didn't look up from her phone I rolled my eyes at her and gestured to my children that she's nuts.

As our children get older, they can decide what they want to believe about things. And I get it: Many a child has second-guessed their beliefs in magical beings due to comments made by an irresponsible older kid who takes it upon herself to educate the little one.

However, it is our job as parents to teach them that with this new knowledge comes responsibility and now they MUST think about how their comments might affect other children. Put plainly: Keep it a secret.

I know that you and I parent differently. It is not my concern what your child believes. I just want her to smile and keep her newly-toothless mouth shut.

The word "exist" threw Natalie off, but not her highly-intelligent brother who looked to me desperately. I told him that you take your daughter's Tooth Fairy money and put it in the bank so she doesn't argue.

If my son comes home tonight no longer believing in the Tooth Fairy, I will tell him how babies are made. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Monday morning he will tell Kay. I will also tell him to throw in some tidbits about aliens and Cheez Whiz.




  1. Oh boy. Hope the kids will be OK. Love the new blog design! :)

  2. When I discussed the truth about Santa to my son, I also included a long discussion about not telling his friends. He knows that it's alright for his friends to believe in Santa. I knew that it is not mine or my son's place to break that belief for others. It's not my decision; that belongs to the parent and the other child. I'm sorry this happened to your children.

    Also: how old is this child with a cell phone? If she's losing teeth, she can't be too old. Is this a thing now? Do elementary kids have cell phones? I feel terribly out of the loop of what's 'cool'.

  3. I learned the truth about santa on the school bus :(. I was devastated. Hope the magic lasts a little longer for our kids!

  4. I hate the spoilers! We definitely taught our kids not to say a WORD (but we held onto the magic as long as possible).

    BTW, you don't even have to come up with a Cheez Whiz story. Just hand her "Breaking Dawn." Bella's birth experience can crack even the most smug 4th grader. Birthing a vampire is not pretty. ;)

    Viva la Magic!

  5. It's one thing for a parent to break the bubble for their own kids, quite another for someone else to do it for yours. Boo.

  6. Aw poor Nathalie. My girls believed in the tooth fairy until they were about 8 and then their cousin convinced them it wasn't real. They were upset about it for days. To cheer them up, I took them to play mini golf and bumper cars and other fun things kids like at 76 Golf World. Its my go to place for their birthday parties or when they need a little pick me up. Anyway, great blog!

  7. Just read your blog for the first time. Love your letter to Kay's Mom. I am a preK teacher and mom of a 2 year old. I try my best to spread magic all over the kids in my life. Today the kids will be sprinkled with "pixie dust" ( glitter) it makes ur dreams extra sweet :)