I hope this letter finds you well. I owe you a bit of an apology and an explanation. You have been sorely neglected over the last month or so and I feel terrible about it.
I miss you so very much and I hope you will accept my apology as I slowly try to regain your trust.
Please let me explain: There's a lot of crap going on in Aliville lately. And by "crap" I don't just mean "we've been really busy." I won't go into details, because you're just a one-year-old and you wouldn't understand it. Plus Blog, you're my outlet for funny stuff and while I'd probably benefit from putting it on paper, you're just not the one to tell. It's really NOT funny in the slightest. Maybe I'll write a book, make a million bucks and you and I can run off to Tahiti together.
And while you're so important to me, JakeRyan and the Kids still have to come first. Please don't cry. Between soccer, dance, a vacation and increased work demands, the little rendezvous that you and I enjoyed have become few and far between and it is breaking my heart. Gone are the days when I could just sneak over on my lunch break to cavort with you before returning to work. How I miss those special times we shared.
Oh sweet Blog, let's remember the happier days like when I wrote about Braless Butt Shorts, my delusional kid calling himself "smoking hot," or the first time you met Mike Wazowski. Good times Blog, good times. I have such fond memories.
It's not that I haven't had things I want to talk to you about. Oh I have!!! It's just that the "crap" is sucking the life out of me. Please know that soon I'll be back and soon we can return to our old selves frolicking together as if we were in a Viagra commercial. Riding bikes or snuggling on the beach perhaps?
Just wait for me Blog. I'll be back soon.
P.S. I've included a recent photo to help ease your pain in my absence. I know. It's dreadful. I couldn't even be bothered to take the red-eye out. I tell you - the life is being sucked out of me.