Wednesday, March 21, 2012

WTF Wednesday - The "Blades of Glory" Edition

A hundred bucks if you can guess where I went yesterday. I know that one person will guess correctly so I'll take the offer back before anyone can speak.

I went ice skating. I very "Motherly" of me.

Don't shut down this blog post until you scroll down to see my triple lutz. 

It's Spring Break, I took a vacation day I went with Ry-guy with a few of his friends and their moms. Sadly, my kid only inherited my "whining gene" and not my "skating gene," (I was quite the shuffler back in the roller-skating days). He very dramatically went out there and took teeny-tiny-baby steps, fell a few times and theatrically faked a few injuries worthy of a traumahawk and an Oscar.

What's he getting at? Sam's mom had let him get one of those ice-skating-helper-bar things. I refused to let Ryan have one. I happen to think these are only appropriate for pre-schoolers.

Evidently "Man Up" isn't a command that children respond to at ice skating rinks very well and $3 later he had his bar. He's paying me back by the way.

Another thing he doesn't have that I do is a pair of gloves. Florida kids don't really need them...until they go ice skating. Note to self for next winter. I let him wear mine.

The other moms didn't want to skate so I tossed my purse and mack-daddy camera (that I still don't know how to use properly) to Sam's mom. She has a real name, it's Gail.

We like Gail. She was amused by my attempts at "figure skating." She even snapped a few blurry pictures for your viewing pleasure.

I was too scared to lift my leg past my knee because I had a 100% no-falling record that I wasn't going to break showing off.

So what's the WTF about this story you ask?

Haven't you noticed that ice skating makes my butt look big? WTF?!?!?


  1. I think you look awesome and I think you might have missed your true calling. And Gail takes some great pictures!

  2. What? I see no big butt in that pic!

  3. I have all kinds of new respect for you.

  4. You are my hero - awesome form. I'm with your son...gimme the granny walker. And thanks for voting!!

  5. Um, since when do they have ice skating rinks in Florida?

  6. Are you pushing that kid down in the 3rd picture?

    If so, I like you even more.

  7. Ummm...I was actually thinking that you had a great butt when I was looking at the pictures.
    My girls always tell me to get in the center to do tricks. They think I am the best ice skater ever. I have them so fooled...they've never once watched ice skating on the TV ;-)

  8. I fell once the last time I took my daughter. . . I don't remember the ice being so friggin' HARD. Of course, I outweigh the six year old who last fell on the ice by about 150 pounds, and I am falling from about 2 feet higher than he was. . . but MAN. I didn't even really fall that hard. Still hurt.

  9. Why did i only see this now??? I want to go skating with you! You crack me up!