Thursday, December 8, 2011

"Eat Me" Is A Sweet Sentiment

I found this little ditty on the floor of the playroom.


Well, isn't that just delightful!

EAT ME with some weirdo little picture under it. What the heck is that? It looks like an embryo. 

My immediate thoughts:

  • I'm sure he learned this from a kid on the school bus. Some jackball 5th grader no doubt.
  • Didn't they say that in Grease? Has he been watching Grease?
  • Pretty certain I didn't say that...did his father JakeRyan say that behind my back TO ME? I'm gonna kick his butt into next week!
  • Why is he drawing an embryo? 


With that, I grabbed the paper off the floor, marched up the stairs and stomped right into Ryan's room all badass like. 

And in my best "I'm not gonna stand for this foul-mouthed crap" tone I asked him: "Um, Ryan? Would you like to explaaaaain to me why you wrote EAT ME on a piece of paper????"

Let's see how quickly this little punk thinks on his feet to get his butt out of this one. He is SOOOO busted.  

Ryan: "I wrote 'eat me' on a sign to put next to Santa's cookies on Christmas Eve. I wanted him to know that they were for him, but then I messed up..."

Wait. What? Uggg. I'm a horrible mother. 

Me: "Oh...OK...sorry." 

I'm sure he did something else bad. I just need to catch him. 

25 comments:

  1. LOL my mom always assumed I was up to no good. 90% of the time she was right. I'm sure he ignored your tone of voice anyways. ;-)

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  2. Pffft! I bet he made that up on the spot...

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  3. That is too funny! I think I would have done the same thing. Always guilty until proven innocent!

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  4. Hahaha! Clearly he's lying, that embryo-eating little monster.

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  5. I have tons of moments like this.... open mouth insert foot.

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  6. So then it's an embryo cookie?

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  7. So what was the embryo supposed to be? Or was it supposed to be an embryo? Embryo cookies for everyone!

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  8. You're just like me--always jumping to the worst conclusion first!

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  9. OMG! That is so funny. Of course we moms are quick to expect the worst. Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Way to go, Matlock. He's got great handwriting. I thought for SURE this was ending with your husband as the guilty culprit. I don't think *I* print that nicely.

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  11. Where is your jump to conclusions mat? Probably right out in the middle of our living room for easy access.

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  12. LOL! Too funny! I always think the worst too, I'm not sure why though, my kids aren't terrible, usually.

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  13. That is too sweet! Proof that kids drive us moms out of our minds with their inconsistent behavior!!!!

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  14. Is he leaving embryos for Santa then?

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  15. Kim's comment is hilarious! I want to know that answer too.

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  16. keep up the great detective work!!
    You'll catch him one of these days

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  17. LMAO!!!! I would have jumped right to that same conclusion, too.

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  18. LOL, sweet kid!
    So sweet Mom since you cant make Thursday ... what is our plan B?

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  19. What would Santa do with embryos anyway? Is that how we ended up with Buddy the Elf?

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  20. Sounds like something my kids would do! My oldest was sitting beside me this weekend and said something like "Fuuuuuu....ck." And then she said, "It sounded like that noise I just made was the f-word." And I said that it kind of was - and maybe she shouldn't make that noise. I totally think she was just sitting beside me swearing. I blame my husband.

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  21. Hahaha!! That is so, so funny. I needed this laugh today big time. So glad you shared this over at #findingthefunny!

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  22. This reminds me of an episode at school this morning. A teacher was CERTAIN she had seen an 8th grade girl mooning someone and marched her mooning butt to the office. Where the girl demonstrated what she had done. She was wearing flesh colored shorts and was taking off her pants that were over them, thereby not really mooning anyone. Why she was taking her pants off in the hall is another story. But, she's always in trouble anyway, so marching her to the office for an "oops" wasn't so out of the norm and it surely makes up for something she did that none of us saw. Found you at finding the funny.

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