Monday, October 31, 2011

Don't Make Mama Bird Angry

OK, I find this hilarious and completely insulting at the same time. You might remember last week I posted about making Ryan an Angry Birds costume. Well, it has been driving droves of traffic to my blog. Not the point. 

Here's a reminder of how cute he looked. 

I was checking my blog stats just now and noticed some traffic from BuyAngryBirdsCostume (dot) com. Won't even type it because I don't want you to click it and give this guy traffic. 

So I clicked the link to find a little write-up about my costume that said the following: "DIY Angry Bird Costume - So Easy Even I Can Do It (My headline). Really, this should be your last resort. Making an Angry Bird from carton and hanging around your neck, we can hardly call it a costume, but desperate situations call for desperate measures. Read more here." 

Wait, WHAT? "This should be your last resort?" I am a lot of things and desperate isn't one of them. 

"Making an Angry Bird from carton and hanging around your neck, we can hardly call it a costume???Oh my gosh. Are you freaking serious? Well, I'm just insulted! It most certainly a costume and not a stupid one I might add. My feathers are ruffled - yes, that is a bird pun, glad you noticed. 

And before you think I'm ignorant...I do understand how web links and search work. He's just got my links on there to drive traffic to his site though search, BUT I'm beyond perturbed at his comments. He's probably some ignorant douche canoe who's name is Dennis (I looked up the domain name, it's really Dennis). 

Let me explain to you Mr. Dennis Just Trying To Sell Costumes: My kid is 8, as I mentioned before he'd look like a complete jackass walking around our neighborhood in one of the store-bought costumes where he had to stick his head through a hole like you're trying to sell. Sticking his head through a hole would make him look like an A-hole. I crack myself up. 

I love my kid and don't need him getting beat up on Halloween because he was wearing a sissy costume. Here's what they look like. 

Secondly, it is 80 degrees here today and cardboard is pretty much all we can do so our kids don't sweat to death walking door-to-door begging for candy, asshole. Yes, was the one with the handy sewing instructions more impressive? Perhaps, but again that costume is pretty babyish and HOT. 

You've got me ranked third of the "Best," but the last resort? Really? A mom that actually makes a costume instead of just buying it? A costume that her kid asked for and is thrilled with. 

Not to mention that the one this guy has in 2nd place (and not as a "last resort") is a boy wearing red leggings, red socks and a feather boa with a paper beak. It comes from one of my absolute favorite blogs and I'm not saying anything bad at all. But again, what do you think the odds are of getting my son to wear girls pants or his father letting him go out of the house with a feather boa? 

Hoo boy am I fired up. 

By the way, Ryan's costume is essentially paper and it's pouring rain here. YAY! 


  1. I'm quite impressed with your construction paper and cardboard (?) handiwork! Spot on replication! Pleasing kids is a tall order. Well played, mama.

  2. The hell? Get out of here, Dennis. And I said that with all the disgust I could muster in my head...DEEENNISSSS.

    Seriously, eff him. Your costume rocked and you made your little man happy. Take all that good traffic and run with it!

  3. I think your costume is AMAZING. I saw someone dressed in the one you have pictured, and she looked like she was begging to be beat up. It looked uncomfortable, and totally ridiculous.

    Your son is adorable in his adorable costume made by his adorable mom.

    Shut. The. Eff. Up. Dennis.

  4. Dennis is a complete ASSHAT. hear that Dennis?? want me to say it a little louder for ya? EFF OFF PUNK.

    There is no way in HELL I would put Goose in that first costume (ya know, if she were at the age and knew what Angry Birds even was) because it looks uncomfortable and pretty damn stupid to me. But hey - maybe I'm desperate. ha. EFF DENNIS. he's nothing but a menace. (yes, pun intended) You did an awesome job Ali, and you are one TOTALLY KICK.ASS.MOMMA. ROCK ON LADY!

  5. Dennis needs an ass-whoopin. I mean, hellooooooooo.....whose name is DENNIS???? That dude is a jerk.

  6. I love the phrase "douche canoe". I think that might be my new thing. As in, "That guy DENNIS is a total DOUCHE CANOE". P.S. I hate that you have warm Halloween. It snowed 4 inches yesterday here and parents still let their kids wear slutty miniskirts and fishnets. P.P.S. I showed the costume to my bf and he loved it and is thinking of next year already. So there, Dennis, so there!

  7. Dennis is a complete twatwaffle. Eff him.

  8. He is a twatwaffle, a douche canoe, an asshat and a swamp donkey all rolled up into one. Your costume was awesome.

  9. So, "asshat" was the word I was thinking as I read about Dennis. But douche canoe? WOW. That's even better.

    This had me cracking up from start to finish - I'm just sorry it had to be because of this guy's jerk-wad-i-ness.

    And? Bravo for not sending your man-child out in girl pants and a feather boa. I think your idea was FAB!

  10. Dennis is an idiot. Big time.

    I loved his costume! And honestly all that matters is if your kid is happy with their costume!

  11. I was actually super impressed with your costume skills! Dennis can suck it

  12. Total jerk who needs to be bitten in the nutsack.

  13. Put me on the bandwagon that was super jealous of your really cool costume. My kids all dressed in mock black turtle necks with glasses and had to tell everyone they were Steve Jobs all the while not really knowing who Steve Jobs was. Eh. Another mothering failure. Dennis can suck it.

  14. I love your homemade costume and would never actually buy the junk that guy (what a jerk) is selling. Your kiddo is super cute. And I think mom-made costumes are awesome!

  15. Whatevs. I think your costume was fabulous and creative. You did a great job on it.

  16. Dennis is a douchepump who will henceforth be known as Dennis the Douchepump.

    I think your cardboard Angry Birds costume is excellent. I just gave you Imaginary +K for it, in fact.

  17. Dennis,
    You have insulted my friends handy work and her offspring.
    You are a hoodrat and have disgusting social media ediquette.
    Ef you Crazys Ballz.

  18. I think your costume is cute and I totally see you not wanting your kid in the store bought version. Did it stop raining so he could go out in it?

  19. I think any DIY costume is great because I can't make them myself, ever. They look like crap. Yours was so cute! Poo on him!

  20. Yours is so much better! what a jerk that guy is.