It's WTF Wednesday again and this week I'm coming to you from beautiful Dayton, Ohio.
On Sunday, I had to fly. Yes, I flew on September 11. I was OK with it. It was just weird. I'm in Dayton for new-hire training which is kind of fun since I've been re-hired to do essentially, a variation of my OLD job. Maybe I'll do it right the second time.
So anyway, for WTF Wednesday, I'm writing about the people I encountered in my travels on Sunday that deserved a punch in the gut if not a hearty WTF from the grumpy mom who was leaving her three innocent children in the hands of their sweet, yet sometimes incompetent father.
- Punchee #1 - Sexy Girl - In the security line at home I noticed her. It was kinda hard NOT to notice an adult woman in a florescent pink t-shirt with the word "SEXY" written on it. Not only this, it also had the bottom and the neck cut off and was hanging off her shoulder a la Flashdance. No, you maniac (Flashdance reference) that shirt is not sexy and either are you in the leggings. A classic case of false advertising.
- Punchee #2 - Flight Status Lady - During my layover in Atlanta, I was sitting at the gate listening to President Obama speak. It was completely surreal to be sitting with a bunch of strangers in an airport listening to the leader of the free world talk about planes crashing. Soon the football game came on and there was a very patriotic dedication at the beginning with Lady Antebellum singing the national anthem. "THE MONITOR SAID OUR FLIGHT IS ON TIME!!!" Oh my gosh. This place is practically silent. There are people with tears in their eyes having a very moving moment when this assclown decides that it's appropriate to..."NO THEY AREN'T MOVING GATES"...scream over the crowd from the desk to her party sitting next to me..."LET'S GO GET A SNACK"... that although there is no plane at the gate we're still on time. Glad to hear it.
- Punchee #4 - The Linguist - This is my absolute favorite. Before we took off there was a quiet moment where I overheard the following conversation: "Alright Bro. I'm on the plane Bro. I'll call you when I get to Dayton Bro. Love you Bro." This is an actual quote. I know because I wrote it down. If you lost count, he used "Bro" FOUR times. That is a new World's Record. Call Guinness!
I saw him again when we landed. He had a tattoo that said none other than....."Dayton" of course! He literally had a tattoo that said "Dayton". You thought I was gonna say "Bro", didn't you? Gotcha! Not that Bro would have been any less ridiculous than permanently inking the name of one a Midwestern city on your forearm. WTF?
Honorable mention: I'm kind of on the fence about this one. The flight attendant was so pleasant when she handed me my orange juice and said "Enjoy!" Aww. How nice. She's so sweet. The way she wanted me to enjoy my beverage. It's so refreshing to see someone taking pride in her job even at this late hour at night. And then a guy behind me ordered coffee. "Enjoy!" The kid who ordered Sprite. "Enjoy!" Bloody Mary mix Man. "Enjoy!" Gasp! She's an "Enjoy WHORE!." And then someone ordered a Coke Zero. No "Enjoy." Because obviously, Coke Zero is not nearly as enjoyable as a regular Coke. She couldn't fake it. No "Enjoy" for you.