Wednesday, August 31, 2011

WTF Wednesday - The "D is for Drama" Edition

WTF is with my daughter? For the life of me, I can't get this child to practice writing her letters. Mind you, this is her 2nd time doing Pre-K.

All I wanted was for her to do one little home-made worksheet a day. She reluctantly finished A-C, but is hung up on D. Probably because it's her mother's bra size *no it's not.*

D is for "Drama" - there have been tears, screaming, pouting. "I can't do it." "It takes too long." "D is DUMB." She's at least figured out her letter sounds

So on Sunday afternoon, I got the brilliant idea of making her a little home office since she's been stealing my new office phone all week. I gave her the phone, and she did a little decorating of her own with a picture frame, hand sanitizer, a crumpled up baby wipe and some plastic eye shadow. Because we all know, no high-power executive sits in her office without fake makeup nearby in the event that there is some important corporate business to attend to that requires looking good. 

And finally, the item I thought would be the real deal maker: ice water in a real coffee mug. 

She was totally in to it. You can see from the photo that she had now clipped a pen and a highlighter onto the straps of her dress. 

Also, she had one row of D's completed. She's most definitely going to get a raise on her performance review.

And since I'm a stickler for authenticity, I told her that I was going to be her "assistant," Susan and she was going to be MY boss. Nope, according to her, my name was going to be "Mrs. Kareesh."

"Mrs. Kareesh, can I have some Cheetos? Mrs. Kareesh, can I take a break. Mrs. Kareesh, I need more ice in my water."  She was a damn slave driver.

Her unplugged phone rang off the hook. She had many important conversations including the following ones verbatim:

"Grounded, Mr. Peechu. You are SO groundeddddd."

"My son wants to dance on the stage so can you really, really help him?"

"Hey yo girlfriend. Yo yo. You don't talk to my girlfriend like that."

"Sweetheart, that so NEVER gonna happen." This one came with a hand flourish and an eye roll.

And then there was this very, VERY serious business call. At about :45 she starts to ream a subordinate.




But no work was getting done! That's it. As an employee of ABCs Incorporated, I couldn't stand by idly and watch the productivity of my company slide because of our lazy kitchen-table executive. That's when her boss called me and told me to tell her to complete her Ds. Really, he called me. I had a full conversation with him which also included threats of him canceling her birthday party if she didn't finish. 

This resulted in the Chief Drama Officer throwing a tantrum and laying on the floor under her desk with her blanket which must have miraculously appeared from inside her briefcase.



Because of the drama, discord, dissent and dawdling, the dreadful Ds definitely didn't get done which definitely disturbed me dammit.

WTF?!?!?!?


And have you voted for us yet? I've begged and pleaded. I'm completely pathetic. Pretty please with sugar on top? Just click below. It takes 60 whole seconds. 




21 comments:

  1. This is beyond precious! I just adore this precocious / dramatic stage. So easy to say now. ; )

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  2. ha! love the video :) I would hate to be the person on the other end of THAT call! oh and YOU? are a veritible Dr. Seuss of the D's! Forget David Donald Do, the Dozen Donuts and the Duckdog! you have it DOWN. dammit. ;)

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  3. Did somebody say "DIVA?"...so cute...and animated...I love the big gigantic hand sanitizer and mug and picture frame!
    Thinking that "F" will be feisty!

    OpinionsToGo

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  4. I think I had a boss like that once...

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  5. Oh my! That was hilarious! Those D's are quite troublesome...

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  6. Pretty funny! But I'm sure it was frustrating too. Good luck.

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  7. That is awesome! I love halfway through the vid when she picks up her coffee mug and is sipping while talking. I want to throw a tantrum under my desk at work. I wonder how that would go over on the first day of school.

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  8. She is so adorable! I'm sorta feeling sorry for that highlighter though...!

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  9. She is so cute! Why does she need to learn her D's when she has an assistant to do all the hard work for her? She's a true executive in training!

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  10. Oh my gosh!!! That is so funny! I'm not so sure I'd like to be her assistant...she's a little intimidating ;)

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  11. Ha! Love it. Especially the sipping out of the coffee cup :) Way too kyoot!

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  12. She is adorable even if she doesn't want to write her Ds. Maybe she needs a bonus or something for doing her work. Like candy.

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  13. OMG that is the best thing I've seen ALL DAY! She sure is a take charge type of girl isn't she? Adorable!!

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  14. Wait, I'm pretty sure she has been trained by one of the ADs in my office...temper tantrums and all. Really wish you would have gotten the eyeroll/flourish on vid.

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  15. That's so funny and adorable!!! I think she did perfectly. A CEO won't have to do homework. She can just hire someone to do it for her. :)

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  16. That girl has got such a personality! Hilarious. BTW, I just watched your dog vlog. So cute and funny. You never fail to crack me up and I would totally vote for you but each time I have tried it wouldn't let me for one reason or another (right now the site is down)
    Anyway, thanks for always putting a smile on my face!

    Tayarra
    tksharp@yahoo.com
    rtrsharpfamily.blogspot.com - because blogger sucks at attaching my google account!

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  17. Isn't it funny how they seem to love to do the things we hate to do? You know, like laundry. and cleaning. And... work.

    And I think in this case, "D" is for Diva! (The cutest kind.)

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  18. Can I just say that your daughter is pretty much a genius? Does she even NEED to know her letters? NO. She will just make Mrs. Kareesh write them for her for the rest of her life and everything will be just dandy!

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  19. So cute!
    She can so do her letters, she just chooses to run a company and have someone else do them for her.

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  20. I just found your blog and *love* it! This post had me cracking up! I'll definitely be following!

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