After failing miserably at yet another dinnertime pissing match with the most stubborn 2-year-old on the planet, I walked back out to the front porch to find my husband (who had come in from doing yard work in the rain) and his wing man Ryan trying to get him to eat chicken parm.
Daddy: "... SO Justin if you want to be one of the guys you have to eat your chicken."
Me joining in: "Hey, I'm one of the guys too!"
Ryan: "Mom! You can't be one of the guys!"
Me: "Why not?"
Ryan: "Because you're a girl."
At this point my husband jumps in to clear up a common misconception.
Daddy: "Ryan, you don't actually have to BE a guy to be 'one of the guys,' but Mommy is definitely NOT one of the guys."
Then I walk up behind Ryan and give him one of those big special Mommy hugs that I'm so good at.
Daddy: "And NOT being one of the guys is OK too Ryan."
Ryan (in his best phony, sweet, brownie points voice): "Mommy, you're always soooo warm and snuggly. I love to snuggle with you."
Daddy (shaking his head in disgust): "You see Justin. That's how you LOSE one of your guys. Happens all the time. Nice moves Ryan."
I walked away and came back to them flexing their muscles. So manly.
As an aside: If anyone can diagnose what's wrong with my kid's face, let me know. It seems to only happen when there's a camera around.