WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME! I didn't even realize this until just now!
In fact, until I thought up this little ditty of a post I never really gave much thought to the fact that I (gasp) don't particularly love Oprah.
However, I did go on maternity leave 3 times...and might have caught a few dozen Oprah episodes. So after 25 years, here is what I know about Oprah, and a nugget or two that I learned from her show - right off the top of my head.
- Oprah gave a lot of money to charity and built a girl's school in Africa. I'm getting that out of the way now. I know she's been an inspiration to millions of people. She is rather awesome.
- Oprah has very big diamond earrings. They are bigger than my eyeballs. Can't-stop-staring-at-the-earrings.
- She also has a "va-jay-jay." And so does my daughter thanks to learning that colloquialism from a schoolmate evidently.
- I don't remember much, but I do remember the Dr. Oz belly fat segment. Thank God for purple plastic gloves.
- Oprah changes her sheets every day. She said this on an episode about saving the environment when the guest suggested than people don't need to wash their sheets more than once a week. I thought this was completely obnoxious to the point that it really pissed me off because you knoooowww that woman doesn't change her own sheets or most likely pee the bed.
- Oprah loves dogs. I love dogs. But her dogs are fussy little spaniel dogs. And I bet you $100 she's never scooped the poop. Oprah? Do you scoop your own poop? Feel free to leave your reply in the comments section Oprah.
- I was sick a few months ago and she had some family on that was BFFs with Michael Jackson. They had photos of him in pajama pants and a sports coat. Thank you Oprah for solidifying my belief that MJ was a nut job.
- I heard once that her parents really meant to name her "ORPAH" (rhymes with Orca) but there was a typo on her birth certificate. And now in my head I subconsciously think of her as "Orpa." I can't help it. Also, I've never Googled this tidbit so I could totally be quoting a bunch of crap. Either way, both of those names suck.
- I accidentally stole an Oprah magazine from my sister-in-law a few months ago. It's sitting in our bathroom...I think Ryan reads it. Oprah is on the cover wearing sandals and her toes are all jacked up. Oprah needs to fire her stylist.
- Oprah gives away a lot of stuff to audience members. Seriously, she gives away too much stuff to all the people at ONE show. You think maybe some other audience members might have liked some free Oprah swag??? This is excessive and totally drives me nuts because I always root for the little guys.
- A bunch of cattle farmers sued her once. I have no idea who won.
- I think Oprah's editors are personally responsible for Tom Cruise's demise.
- Dr. Phil & Dr.Oz. Both are completely wacky, but surprisingly fun to watch. I'd like to see the two of them in a cage match.
- Gail has a good thing going. Talk about hitching yourself to the right wagon. Did you ever see the episodes with the road trip? Me either, but the commercial looked funny.
Americans use 6 paper napkins per person a day. If we each cut down by just one napkin a day we'd save 1,000,000,000 (yes, that's one billion) pounds of paper waste a year. (from Elizabeth Rogers, author and mom who cares about the environment)
Now we use cloth napkins And I dugggg through Oprah's website to find it for you: Here's the Show With The Napkin Stat
The stat isn't on this link, but it's got a lot of good info so I thought I'd share it: Other Good Stuff from the Oprah Site
OK, who hates me?