Wednesday, May 25, 2011

From Hot to Something That More Resembles "Sweaty"

A bunch of the ladies from some of the blogs I follow decided to do a link up called "I was a Senior Hottie."

Yep out there in the blogisphere there are a bunch of mostly moms posting pictures of themselves from their Senior year of High School. In my case that means 1993. 

I made a pilgrimage to my dad's yesterday to dig out this little gem. I scanned the entire portfolio from the photographer for your viewing pleasure. Frankly, I don't think I look that different. I've got some spots on my face. My hair has changed to a few different styles, but it's BACK to this one (minus the bit of hairspray I have in my bangs.)

But to change the challenge up, I've made captions with a few of the things that 1993 Ali might have said and responses from 2011 Ali. 



1993 Ali 

2011 Ali Says: Ah, cute 1993 Ali. You're never going to get a convertible. It's 2011 and you drive a minivan with dog hair and school papers all over it. Not to mention, you have to PAY for it. Your Maxima was free a la dad. You pay a lot for this minivan. Oh, and by the way, it has three child seats in it and your cup holder currently houses matchbox cars and a plastic bunny. However, it does have a DVD player (you don't know what this is because it hasn't been invented yet), but you're gonna love it because it's gonna teach your kids the ABCs and keep them quiet on road trips. 

And in case you haven't figured it out (seeing that you're a C/D student and not that bright) you have kids. Three of them.


1993 Ali

2011 Ali Says: Yeah...you know that boyfriend? You're gonna marry him alright. And because of this, your kids are going to be blond. You totally love him still. He's the best. But you know that football thing? He's an accountant. And you know that Marky Mark thing? Yeah...I think there may still be some abs in there, but they're under a rather large belly that is the product of late night Oreo-fests. Don't worry. You don't look so hot yourself so nobody looks at you like "how did that fine chick get stuck with that guy?"



1993 Ali

2011 Ali Says: Don't get so attached to "Contrampo" kid. It goes out of business. However in 2011 you'll be buying most of your clothes at Costco because you can't take a trip to the mall by yourself. You carry your new clothes home in a cardboard box that also contains a 10 pound bag of rice and a 2-pack of weed killer. 


1993 Ali

2011 Ali Says: Hold on 1993 Ali, I need to stop laughing at you for a minute. Yes dear, they do grow. They get really big. So big you'll stand in front of the mirror and think to yourself "where have you two beauties been all of my life?" But then...poof! They're gone and here's the clincher: They're smaller than when you started out. Whoever told you that fed you a load of B.S. 


1993 Ali


2011 Ali Says:  Wait a minute. I'm still laughing at you over the boob thing...First off, you're doing the families you're NOT babysitting for a service. You suck with kids. However, you might as well enjoy getting paid to watch kids now. Some day, you're going to have to pay someone several hundred dollars a week to watch yours during the day. Then they're all yours at night. And some nights they throw up. And every night they poop. And need a bath. And have to be fed. And then on some days (certainly not all)...you secretly wish you were all at home together so you could watch them for free. 

I miss 1993 Ali. 

And if you're new here...I certainly wouldn't mind having a few new blog followers...hint hint. This is Needy 2011 Ali talking. 


28 comments:

  1. Love the pics and love the then and now messages!

    Also? I so love that you married your high school sweetheart!

    So, so very cute!

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  2. Oh my, I love your 1993 versus 2011 commentary! Awesome. And my dear, you were a HOTTIE!!!! Well, you're still very pretty of course.

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  3. Ok, not only are you adorable in your pics, but this is the best commentary ever!! I have tears in my eyes I'm laughing so hard!!!!

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  4. the captions were awesome. You have not changed one bit, you were adorable and you still are!!!!

    You are ONE FINE CHICK!!!!!

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  5. Your pics are beautiful, but this commentary is legendary! Love it.

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  6. Best Senior Hottie post EVER!!

    Love that you talk to your old (young) self!

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  7. That commentary made me giggle. You were totally a Senior HOTTIE!

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  8. If anything I think you've gotten hotter. :)

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  9. I'm sorry, but are those purple feathers? LOL

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  10. You look fabulous - then and now - and so much more wisdom now. I graduated in 93 too.

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  11. Just tweeted this! The purple feathers are H-O-T, but then the black laces gloves, too? You have reached a level few will ever attain.

    THANKS for linking up!!

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  12. Ha! I totally forgot about Contempo Casuals! This was hilarious.

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  13. How come all the early 90s pics had feather's in their Senior Portraits?!? I am soo jealous!

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  14. This was an awesome post. Totally awesome! Rad and Narly Dude!

    Sorry, channeled the 90's for a second.

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  15. You were totally hot! I was not hot. I was grunge. Thanks a lot stupid Kurt Cobain!

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  16. This is such a fun, unique spin on I Was a Senior Hottie. Great post! And 1993 you was adorable. You looked all of 12.

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  17. First of all, I think marrying your high school sweetheart is dumb. And doing it the week before I married mine is even worse. Yeah, knowing 1993 Ali and 2011 Ali, I much prefer this one. I remember that one being REALLY high maintenance. ;)

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  18. OMG those captions were the best and I absolutely loved them. So lace gloves are pretty rad too :)

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  19. You make me feel like I could go with less anti-depressants. Can you guys move closer than 20 minutes away. ;0)
    Your posts always rock!! Mrs. Brown

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  20. Those captions are hilarious. I loved Marky Mark.

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  21. These comments are the best. I love it. I would like to go back and tell my 1993 self a few things too, like invent a flattening iron!

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  22. OH MA LAWD!!
    Those lace gloves and the metallic whatever it is that you are holding to your face is classic!
    I'm in heaven!!
    Also?
    I'm with you on the boob bit.
    I had boobs before baby, pretty boobs.
    Then I had GINORMOUS boobs that were unacceptable during pregnancy and nursing.
    Then they went away.
    They've become these droopy sacs of skin that hang on my chest.
    I have to scoop them up to get them into my bra every morning.
    Why didn't I appreciate them more when I was in.....wait, I totally did. I worked those mutha's

    And you girl, you worked those gloves!!

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  23. laughing.my.arse.off.

    LOVE the captioning!! and the boob thing?? SAME HERE. I barely had boobs, finally had some decent ones, then as soon as we finished nursing they were smaller than EVER before!! WTF HAPPENED?? and I sooooo remember Contempo Casuals!! AWESOME.

    Also - you're adorable in your pics, you look so young!! and I'm now following you - both your blog and on twitter :)

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  24. What a cool spin - I love your 1993 and 2011 commentary. I was laughing the whole time. I'm your newest GFC follower, Needy 2011 Ali.

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  25. L O L this is hilarious! I'm cracking up. The photographer tried to make me wear a bunch of crap and I told him there was no way in hell I was putting on lace, feathers, or leather. He couldn't believe it...

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  26. Great post....I love your little notes to 1993 Ali...if we could only know then what we know now!

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  27. This is hilarious, I forgot all about Contempo and those lace gloves are the best. I had the same boob wish and no one told me about the after-effects either.

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  28. You are SO gorgeous! Not fair. Even WITH the lace glove... ;) And the thing about buying your clothes at Costco cracked me up. Not that I would know. *ahem*

    p.s. We graduated the same year! :D

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