Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Why Does Hugging Trees Have to Be So Darn Hard?

Let's just say that there is a little more work to be done on Ryan's part to get on his teacher's good side. I'll leave it at that.

So being the expert in strategery and butt kissing that I am, I began prepping Ryan way in advance of Earth Day to earn a few much-needed brownie points with his first grade teacher.

On a recent car ride home I listed out all of the things that our family does that are good for the environment...just in case his teacher (who just happens to be the head of his school's "Green Team") asks in class. These include: using reusable drink and sandwich containers for lunches, using cloth napkins at home, recycling, using reusable grocery bags and not flushing the toilet (it's actually only Ryan who does that).

 So today's car ride conversation:

Me:  "Hi Ryan. How was your day?"

Ryan:  "Mom, can we make a compost pile?

Me:  "No."

Ryan:  "Why not?"

Me:  "Well why do you ask?"

Ryan:  "Because I want to make a hill."

Me:  "Why?"

Ryan:  "Duh, so I can roll down it..."

Me:  "So you want to roll down a big pile of garbage?"

Ryan:  "No...we'd put grass on it."

Now I attempt a little less Earth-friendly conversation that didn't involve the thought of  foul smells, buzzards and more new sod that we can't afford.

Me:  "So did you get any tallies for getting in trouble in school today?"

Ryan:  "Just one."

Me:  "What for?"

Ryan:  "For trying to make a compost pile."

Me:  "What???"

Ryan:  "I brought my banana peel back to the classroom after lunch and my teacher gave me a tally for bringing trash back from the cafeteria."

Me:  "And you were going to compost it?"

Ryan:  "Yeah."

Me:  "So what did you do?"

Ryan:  "I put it in my lunchbox."

Me:  "Where is the banana peel now?"

Ryan:  "I threw it in the grass near the bus loop..."

Me:  "Oh no! Did your teacher see you?

Ryan:  "No."

Me:  "OK." 

By now I'm hysterically laughing.


No harm no foul. Banana peels are biodegradable.


  1. i think i am about to send ryan a box of fruit rinds, peels and anything else compostable because what other kid his age thinks up shit like this!

  2. You do know that this post totally opens you up to start receiving garbage in the mail from your friends, right?