A few days ago when I blogged about our "hot date" I wrote the following:
So I hauled it home to clean up and remove the following items from my kitchen table: a green feather boa, a report card, two clip boards, a pair of $107 compression hose, a Nintendo DS, a container of beads and sunscreen. And by "remove from my kitchen table," I mean "move onto the dining room table." They are still sitting there along with a cardboard box of other oddities.
To which my old friend Dane commented:
"If the aforementioned items were not considered oddities, then PLEASE take a picture of your "cardboard box of other oddities"! I am so intrigued as to what might be found in that magical box!
So this one is for you Dane. But to keep it interesting I took photos of some of the more unique items along with an old Mike Wazowski Happy Meal toy. This will also make two blog posts in a row with a Billy Crystal reference. I see a trend here.
And by "Box" I was kinda lying. It was more like a box and a few dollar store bins. I'm not proud of this.
This is what it looked like before I started going through it. Not for the sake of cleaning mind you, but for the sake of a blog post. Awful.
Here's Mike Wazowski with a hot pink dentist freebie quality tooth brush that was given to the only one of my children that would pick a pink toothbrush last week at school. Now she wants to actually GO to the dentist. Crap! Foiled again!
"Yay! I'm in a baby wipe container full of hand-me-down Silly Bands," says Mike Wazowski. "Weeee!" As if we didn't already have enough of these, the kids' Aunt Lisa dropped these off on our front table last week. Haven't given them to the kids yet because I don't feel like taking out the vacuum cleaner that I use when I need to get them off my floor.
"Hey lady! Please fan my butt with that little red hand fan." Wait! Does Mike Wazowski have a skull and crossbones tattooed on his ass??? No silly goose! That's just me getting funny with the photo editing program. Gotcha didn't I. So silly...
Happy Meal Mike Wazowski must have eaten the granola bar that was once in this wrapper because I'm sure no person in my household would have been so lazy as to throw it in the Magical Box instead of in the trash. "Yummy granola bar," says Mike Wazowski. No need to pay us for the product placement this time Quaker. Wink wink.
Here's Mike with all of the other toys that were in the box. Not that Mike was in the box...I actually went into the playroom to get him. I think Pluto looks drunk. I wonder what kind of conversation Mexican Donald and the Ninja Turtle had while they were waiting to be rescued. I wonder what language it was in. Dude!
Mike shares our warehouse club committment phobia. "BJs or Costco? BJs or Costco? I just can't make up my mind!" Either can we Mike Wazowski. I feel your pain. I mean Costco has a better cheese section, but BJs is closer to my house and has GAS!
Here's Mike Wazowski standing in my sunglasses case which no longer houses pretzels, but still doesn't have any actual sunglasses in it either. Good thing those Toy Story stickers are still there. Pixar familiarity for Mike, ya know.
Speaking of sunglasses...you have no idea how hard it was to decide which side of the sunglasses to use for this photo.
"Oh, those pictures are so cute," says Mike Wazowski. "Too bad your lazy ass never sent the pictures back to school before the ordering deadline. Now you're just going to have to rip off the proofs and cut the image numbers off the bottom and use them like wallets, Mother of the Year." Great idea Mike Wazowski! Glad you thought of it!
Mike Wazowski would like to be like one of those extreme couponers, but just can't get into it. The thought is good, but Mike spends too much time on his blog. See if you can spot him in the bin of uncut coupons that are probably all expired.
Moving right along to a teeny tiny bag of dog food. Which probably isn't that weird. I'm sure that many people have a teeny tiny bag of dog food in a box with toys and toothbrushes on their dining room table, right?
Here's Mike Wazowski celebrating his Irish heritage with the head thing I wore at the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Mike Wazowski thinks not enough people read that blog post. I agree.
"This Magical Box is too exciting for me," says a very sleepy Mike Wazowski. "I need to take an upside down nap on some paint chips, an untied string of beads, and one of those airplane headphone adapters."
OK Mike Wazowski. You can take your nap right after we take this picture together and I put you back in the playroom. And by "put you back in the playroom" I mean "leave you with the rest of this mess on the dining room table."
Mike Wazowski wants to know if you've liked our Facebook page yet. It's over there on the left. "Give the lady a click," says Mike Wazowski.