Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Sharp Dressed Man (kind of)

I can always tell when I'm being set up.  It's usually when The Big One puts on his sweet voice, makes the innocent face and starts the dialogue with "Mommy." The first sentence is the appetizer and then he launches into the full course. 

"Mommy, next week is special because it's Valentine's Day, which is a holiday." (the appetizer)

"Can I wear my tie to school since it's a holiday?" (the main course)

To my son, the importance of an event is signified by whether or not people will be wearing ties.  His tie is of the clip-on variety and has a pen mark down the middle.  A Target purchase for a legitimate tie-worthy event that I can't even recall at the moment. 

The Tie (as we'll call it) surfaces about every two or three weeks, usually on a Saturday and almost always as we're rushing out the door when he thinks I won't notice.  Naturally, I don't want to be the mom toting around the weird tie-wearer so I put the kibosh to it 99% of the time.  He relents...because he knows.  

The Tie's most recent appearance was last Saturday as we were headed out to a birthday party with video games, go-carts, laser tag, bad pizza, antibacterial hand gel, blah blah. 

"No WAY! You'll be the only kid with a tie on."

"But Mom, how is everybody going to know that I'm the Fun Party Guy if I don't wear a tie?"

My favorite appearance was two Christmas Eves ago I made an attempt to have him do just one measly little thing independently after I had slaved over dinner all day. Hoping for a Christmas miracle, I sent him upstairs to get dressed by himself 15 minutes before guests were arriving.

Several minutes later, he sauntered down the stairs, proud as a color blind, socially inept peacock.  Brown shoes, white socks, khaki shorts, blue button-down shirt (mis-buttoned and cuffs open of course) and naturally - The Tie.  In addition to this visual atrocity that I literally laughed over for two minutes before I regained composure, he was also wearing the biggest, most beautiful smile I'd ever seen. I gave in to The Tie this time. It was Christmas after all.  But you better believe photos were taken for his senior yearbook and to give to his future wife. 

Last May, he was chosen to be the May Day prince at his school. I told his teacher that there was no better kid for the job because this was probably the only kindergartner in the entire school that actually appreciated every chance to dress up.  AND GET A NEW TIE. 

So back to this morning:  "Yes Ryan.  You can wear your tie on Valentine's Day.  By the way, you know, today is Groundhog's Day." 

"REALLY???!!!  That's a Holiday!  Can I wear my tie?"


  1. I imagine Fun Party Guy to be similar to Fun Bobby from Friends. P.S. Wait until he learns about BOW TIES. Talk about FUN.

  2. And to think that Scott thought Fun Party Guy was HIS title. ;)
    Love this blog- you're a great writer!!

  3. Don't forget suspenders!!! Ali I think he needs a new pair of dirty bucs just for being a dress up kind of a guy. Mine - I can't get shoes ON and heaven forbid I ask him to wear PANTS!

  4. ok, the peacock line? you are a wordsmith, you are. Sigh. Cute kid you got there. Is he still into The Tie? Target - best place ever for kid ties.