Saturday, January 29, 2011
My bladder, some bobble heads and an offer he can't refuse
Thanks to the bladder-that-isn't-what-it-used-to-be I find myself awake on yet another Saturday morning contemplating the 462 items on my family room floor.
How my kids can make this house look like there was a G-rated fraternity party here where all beverages were drank (or is it drunk?) out of very old sippy cups is still beyond me.
And yes, each and every toy, sock, used baby wipe and sticker must be picked up in the next hour or our pal Brucie the Wonder Dog will make them his chew toy the minute the house alarm is set as we make our weekly jaunt to Zsa Zsa's dance class.
From the middle of the stairs comes a declaration:
"MOM! I'm not down here to eat breakfast. I'M HERE TO DO AN ACTIVITY."
Awesome!... Now admittedly, the word "activity" usually chills me to the bone because it inevitably has to do with something gooey, staining or smelly (or on several cases the trifecta), but this time I'm just gonna go with it and see where it gets me.
"OK Ryan, I've got an 'activity' for you. Clean up all your sister's tea set pieces, and all Justin's stuff so Bruce doesn't eat them."
In his best pre-8 a.m. whine: "Mommmmm...I didn't make the messsssss."
Insert canned response here... "Well you're gonna do it anyway."
"All I really want to DO is paint my bobble heads."
"Well you can paint your bobble heads...as soon as these toys are picked up...after dance...after lunch...and when Justin is taking his nap."
At this point, I sincerely do feel bad for the kid. Always being the screwed-oldest-of-three-kids, Ryan and I do have a kinship.
But the show must go on!!! I'm in deal-making mode now.
"I'll tell you what. If you clean up this playroom, I'll give you three dollars and THREE BOBBLE HEADS."
"But Mom, I already have three bobble heads."
"Um, no Ryan - I have three bobble heads... and I might let you paint them...after you pick up your sister's tea set..."
And so it goes...and so it goes.